When You Pray & God Doesn't Answer

Hey, guys. How unnu do? Hope everyone is good.

Last Friday, I wrote this in my diary, "How to look past what is a minor or not-so-minor thing and be joyful? - Give thanks for what is." I was feeling disappointed because well, I didn't sleep well the night before despite going to bed early. Hubby had suggested earlier in the week that I go to sleep early and get some rest. I guess he could see that I was tired. So I was in bed by 7 pm. But I just didn't sleep well. Not getting a good night's rest really throws me off. I really hate when that happens. So I wrote that to encourage myself.

Well, over the weekend, I really had to put it into practice (again). In this post, I mentioned that I have just completed University studies. There was still one course for which the grade was not posted, however. On Saturday morning I got the grade I was awaiting. Unfortunately it was not the grade I was anticipating.

I was disappointed and glad. Disappointed that what I hoped and prayed and believed for was not realized. But glad that I passed my course and therefore successfully completed my degree. The disappointment however, and even a bit of anger and frustration, fought to overtake and subdue the gladness. Instead of celebrating what was, I struggled a little with what was not. I did pass but not with the desired grade.

Out of habit (the 'old' me), my thoughts went like this: "What's the point of hoping for anything?" "This always happens to me." "Maybe I'm just not good enough." Thank God however, those thoughts did not overwhelm me. Thank God they eventually went away.

How did they stop? I forced myself to give God thanks for what was. (When you are feeling down, you generally don't feel much like giving thanks). I fought to look at the bright side of the situation. The greatest anesthesia however, was this reminder:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding. (Proverbs 3: 5).

Trusting God means that there will be unanswered questions, things you don't understand and things that seem unfair. There will be times when you don't get what you prayed so earnestly about. How many times has someone lost a loved one even though they prayed so hard for God not to take them? How many times have people lost their homes although they prayed so hard for God to not let the bank take it away? The instances of those and other things happening are countless. And if you ask me, these people have every right to feel angry, let down and disappointed and to ask God why.

In these instances when we pray and God doesn't answer, however, we have to remember that we cannot depend on our own logic. We can't depend on how our human minds explain things. Our understanding of the situation, of what we can see with our eyes will never really comfort us. It just won't make sense. I mean, why should I not get the grade that I worked so hard and prayed so hard for? It makes no sense and it's just not fair!

But God is saying, "Trust Me with all your heart. It doesn't make sense or seem fair. But please trust me." Difficult? Absolutely yes! Impossible? No. If we can trust Him in those times when He doesn't give us what we hoped for, we'll be all the better for it and will be comforted.

In other news, I bought the reader. It was delivered on Saturday. Another something that helped me take my mind off the situation above (LOL). I bought the Kindle Paperwhite 3G (2012 model). It fell right within the price range I had. It's on sale! I hope to get some bilingual (Japanese/English) books to help me with my Japanese study. Here are some pics:

Unopened box

 Opened box

 The goods

 The case

 The Kindle!

Ooh...

                                                               USB charger

 Kindle package

 Kindle on!

Me!