On a Positive Note

Give thanks and praise to Jehovah. He's good, all the time. All the time, He's good.

Yesterday was the Prefectural Level English Speech Contest. Two of the three students who performed from my school were placed in the top 5. Reiko (name changed) was one of them. For the past two years she tried without success at the local level. In fact, she had her first try at such a competition when she was a grade 6 elementary school student. Finally, now in her third year of junior high school she got the 1st prize at the local level and now 2nd place at the Prefectural Level. I feel blessed to be a part of this moment.

Last night before I fell asleep, I thought about how I've always thought negatively about myself, and so the time has come for me to develop and cultivate good thoughts about myself. My new favorites:

• I am loved by others
• I love myself
• I am a woman of good understanding, a beautiful countenance.

The next thing is I feel so free. "Perfect love casteth out all fear" has really opened my eyes. I don't feel so afraid of moving forward with things or when thinking about what to do in the future. I am not so afraid of making mistakes or living up to expectations. I am not so afraid of not knowing what to do.

This morning at school, I was reading a few verses from Nehemiah 9. Some favorite verses and why I like them:

....... and thou preservest them all (v. 6)  

• This tells me that God preserves me

....... thou knewest that they dealt proudly against them (v. 10)        

• God knows when people ill treat me.

....... thou art a God slow to anger, ready to pardon, gracious and merciful (v. 17)

• This pretty much explains itself!

This next verse really grabbed my attention and spoke to me on a deep level:

...... thou subduest them and gave them in their hands, that they might do with them as they would (v. 24)

• This is telling me that victory is mine for the taking. I am free to make use of whatever opportunities are before me. In other words, the ball is in my court!

Out of Place

The Sports Day for my school will be held this Saturday, September 14. Now Sports Day in Japanese schools is no likkle joke! No sah! The enthusiasm and motivation of the students never cease to amaze me. Today, as it has been for the past few days since the start of the second term, was a busy day for the teachers and students. They had no resting time. It was just from one thing to the other. In my case, yes I watch them while they practice, but I can take a break if I want to. Not so for them.

Sports Day in Japan is quite different from Sports Day in Jamaica. For one thing, I can't recall so much work going into Sports Day preparations back home. Also, selected students are responsible for taking the lead in getting their teams prepared and not the teachers. The teachers act as a guide and well, official overseers. The other big thing is that unlike here where each and every student participates in the cheerleading and Sports Day activities, in Jamaica students usually volunteer to take part in what they want to. As for me, I'd simply find my place in the stands and cheer for my team, or sit and chat with friends.

As exciting as these events can be, and as interesting as it is to be here in Japan, there are moments when I sometimes feel simply out of place. It's that feeling like I don't belong. I mean, yes, I am the foreigner, so I really am not a part of the 'group'. But the feeling sometimes overwhelms me more than it should.

This is what I wrote in my diary that I want to share with you:

"The devil likes to bring these thoughts of how I don't belong. I thought this morning about Jesus. He didn't even belong to this world. How 'out of place' was that! But He pressed on and always spoke about doing the will of His Father. He knew that he had a purpose. He knew rejection, embracement, reviling, encouragement and all sorts of things. He KNEW. So He understands me. He just did the work that was before Him, doing good to 'hebribady' - whether good or bad. Lord please continue to help me to accept what is and simply do what is required of me WITH JOY. Furthermore, there are FAR more PLEASANT and AMAZING things that I have experienced here; and with the hope that I have, am yet to lay hold of."

Sometimes you might find yourself in situations or places that overwhelm you. Like me, you might feel out of place. "All things work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28) is great to remember. Also, try not to focus on the negative of the situation. Think on some of the great things that are going on and that might even have been made possible by the very situation or place you are in. Difficult marriage? You might be able to look at the beautiful kids you have that are as a result of the union.

I've been learning the importance of confessions, and have been trying to actually do them. My confession for the negative feeling was, "I am not out of place. I am where I need to be."