Be Good To Yourself

The merciful man doeth good to his own soul (Proverbs 11: 17). 

Twenty-three days have gone out of the new year! 

My post today is about being good to yourself. Perhaps for you it comes easy but for me it has been a learning process. 

If I went into a store I would always be looking out for the cheapest thing. Now of course that isn't a problem in itself. The problem lies with me being so cheap that even if I could afford the pricier item, which I actually liked more and would enjoy more, I wouldn't buy it. I didn't think that I am worth the extra. 

I have come a far way though. These days I try to purposely go for the thing that I'd enjoy the most; I try to aim for the best. I am fortunate to have my husband who has served as a great example of being good to yourself. He has no problem with buying something that is nice so long as he can afford it. 

Recently, he bought us two watches. I won't lie, it was hard for me to digest the price (LOL). But he wanted to bless himself and bless me. What is interesting is after he bought them, the one I had wearing stopped working! I was going to church one Sunday, went to pick up the new one but changed my mind and put on the old one, and it almost caused me to miss the bus! Luckily hubby had been checking the time on his phone and realized it was much later than I had thought. I had no choice now but to wear the new one. And somehow I feel like God wanted me to and so He arranged for the other one to stop working. He wants me to love me. God wants you to love yourself! 

I've been a bit annoyed and uncomfortable at the lack of central heating here. I decided that instead of complaining, I'm taking matters into my own hands! I got an idea about how to be good to myself and have a more comfortable living space. I don't really like having to lock up in one room which is basically what you have to do here in the winter. I decided to put a heater in the hall area of the house. That way I can open the living room door if I want to, and even if I decide to close it, when I have to leave the room the cold won't just slap me in the face. 

Here's how it looks: 

Same area where the heater is. 

This is where we have camped since winter began. We no longer sleep upstairs in our bed but got out the futon we have. I can leave this door open because the area in the pic above has a heater. 

Happy winter, guys!!

Great is the Measure

While enjoying the warm and loving embrace of my husband, I had this thought, "Great is the measure of my Father's love". If a man could be loving me in such a wonderful way, then how much more does my Father in heaven love me? Amazing!

See you guys, again. :)

Loving is Easy When It Doesn't Cost a Thing

In my previous post I said how I want to be able to show love to others. I used the example of me watering some flowers at one of my schools and how they blossomed. I also want to water someone's life. 

Heh. People say that you're likely to be tested on something you've preached about. I surely was. And I failed miserably. :(

I was feeling quite downcast last week and it really peaked on Friday. I felt so angry and miserable. I was so down I didn't even write anything in my journal. But my reaction to how I was feeling was giving me another piece of something to share with you. 

When I am feeling down, I usually like to remind myself that I am not the only one going through something. But on Friday I was so caught up with how I was feeling that I didn't bother to show concern to someone who probably could have used some cheering up too. I was so absorbed in my own pain that I didn't bother to try to reach out to the individual. I only realized afterwards how I had the opportunity to give love but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't want to. 

When you're hurting it's easy to be thinking so much of yourself that you can't even see that there's someone right in your midst hurting as well. You might sense it, but can't seem to reach out or really don't care to. After all, you are hurting too. 

But you know, that's really how true love is shown - when you can do it no matter how hard it is for you. It's always easy when it doesn't cost you anything. 

Water Those Flowers

Since I figure that I'm on the road that I need to be on, and that I'm ok and on my way, and that I just need to keep moving, I really just want God to help me:

1. To take each day ONE DAY AT A TIME. 

2. To show love. 

I want to wake up, pray and know that although I might not feel well, the day will soon be over and God has given me new grace and mercies for the day. When I pray, I want to believe that power has been released and to be able to feel it. I want to understand that there is REAL power in the words of prayer. So when I say, "God please help me", I want it to be clear in my mind that God heard me and will help me. 

I want to be God's light everyday that I am out in those schools. I want to show love in the way that He has placed in my heart to that particular person who really needs it. I know they are there. I realize there are days I am tired and feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities I have but I still want to know that I made a difference to someone's life by my presence. It must be made clear to me that I had a positive impact on someone. I pray that God would make me see that I am making a difference and the way I made the difference. 

I've been watering some flowers at one of my schools since I started going there in April. I started watering them when one morning as I changed into my indoor shoes, I happened to see that they were drying up. I gave them some water and their appearance changed the next time I went to the school! The leaves were perky! I felt as though God told me that they were to become my responsibility. That is, I should water them whenever I went there. God often speaks to my heart through things like that. So although I couldn't see how watering flowers could be of any value to me, I obeyed. I have ensured that I water them while I'm there. In a way though, I'd often think that in the same way I'm watering them, I can also water someone's life. 

Yesterday the secretary called my attention to them. She was showing me how one of them was blooming. Later in the day she was also telling the man who does repairs/clean up at the school how the flowers I've been watering are blooming. He went and looked at them and told me, "Good job". 

They are just flowers. But because I'd been giving them water, they were now blooming. They went from drying up to blooming. And I had a hand in it.

My desire is to do the same in the life of someone.

How about you?

Perfect Love

All the years that the cankerworm has stolen is being returned to me (Joel 2: 25). I believe that I made a critical discovery about me. I can see how the enemy has used the very way that God made me against me. Thank You Lord for this discovery.

One of the things I read about the melancholic is that he tends to be passive. I must fight to not just allow negative thoughts and emotions to weary me down. I have a choice; I can choose the types of things to think about. I already have the power over all the power of the enemy. I already have a sound mind. I am already more than a conquerer. 

Now let me say that I am not saying that passivity is from God. That's one of the weak points of the melancholic personality. But let's say that I'm not necessarily the aggressive type. There's nothing wrong with that. But then sometimes things happen, like someone being unkind to me. But because I'm not the type to fight back, it would seem like the enemy orchestrates many of these moments where I end up feeling defeated. In other words, my 'soft' personality has often been used against me. It would have been helpful for me to have learned to stand up for myself and not just play the role of a victim. I say learn because I wasn't born with a 'tell-it-to-your-face', 'don't-you-dare-treat-me-like-that' personality. Hope you're getting what I'm saying. LOL

Anyhoo, these days I've been meditating on this: 

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection]. (1 John 4:18 AMP). 

I'm beginning to have a greater understanding of what this scripture means. I'm learning to apply it to me. It kinda fits in with what I'm discovering about me. A part of this 'soft' me is sometimes afraid to express herself. Sometimes the words won't come out, or don't come out right. It's a part of what I was trying to explain earlier. If I have been mistreated, I am afraid of telling you that you did. But even where no mistreatment took place, if I need to make a request, I don't know how to. Plain simply, I'm afraid to ask. I am now seeing that I even have this same fear if I need to talk to God about things or ask Him for things. "Fear brings with it the thought of punishment" were the words that sprang out at me the most. And this is because I wonder if God will be mad at me for saying this or doing that. 

I can see how I have been changing even prior to my rediscovery of this scripture and my gaining more understanding about it. I can see how I had been operating out of fear. I can only look forward to the best that's yet to come as I begin to operate in its principles. 

Unnu tek care!