A Jamaican Mother's Perspective On Raising A Child In Japan

Today, in another of our Black Mommies Travel series, we will be talking with Venecia. Venecia Williams-Vall is mom to 3 year old Sami, who Venecia describes as very friendly, a trait she says, is from Sami's dad.

Venecia, welcome.

Thanks, Re-Keisha.

Q: Tell us, what brought you to Japan? 

A: I moved to Japan at the end of July, 2002 on the JET Programme. I left at the end of July 2005 to do my master’s in England and returned when I finished because I was in a relationship. I worked for one and a half years at one university then moved to another where I spent 8 years.

Q: Where is your husband from and did you guys meet in Japan?

A:  My husband is from Argentina. I met him my second year in Japan. He was a student and he did his master’s and PH.D. there.

Q: What was it like giving birth here?

A: Sami was my first child so I had no prior experience just expectations. My first doctor was good. He ran a small clinic and was very caring. I was briefly hospitalised because of fibroid pain. He recommended that I stop working and stay in the hospital until birth but I said no. He transferred me to a colleague who dealt with high risk pregnancies at a hospital near my home.

That doctor was great too. We ended up having an emergency C-section because he did some tests on the due date and found that Sami was stressed. The staff at the hospital was great and they listened to my wishes. I hated being in the hospital because my husband could only visit at certain times throughout the day. I was lonely so I asked to be discharged early and I was allowed to leave 2 days early. I do like the fact that they keep you in the hospital and check to make sure you and the baby are doing well before sending you home.

Q: What things did you appreciate here as a mother raising a child in Japan?

A: Great healthcare from pregnancy to birth and beyond. We did not have to pay out of pocket for anything before or after she was born. My healthcare plan covered 70% and the city office covered the other 30%. 

·  I was able to take time off work to care for her and still got a percentage of my salary. I spent 7 months at home with her and I was extremely lucky because my university had its own daycare so I could go see her during the day while I was at work.

·  I got a lot of information from the hospital and the city office about dealing with stress or post-partum depression (including information about hotlines). 

Q: Did you have any concerns for your daughter or face any challenges as a mother?

A: Yes, we did. Once we got pregnant we knew we could no longer stay in Japan. 

·  We wanted to live somewhere she would be comfortable as a bicultural child. We didn’t want her to grow up in a country where she was constantly in the spotlight, never having anonymity and constantly being reminded that she did not belong. Neither of her parents was Japanese so we did not think it was fair for her to take on a fight to be represented and accepted. We have been here in Canada for 6 months so far. She goes to school and she is mostly just another little kid playing with her friends. No one touches her hair. When she uses Spanish no one thinks it is strange or “kawaii”. No one thinks she is not Canadian. She is just a happy kid. I know she will have her own challenges but she will not be bullied for not being the same ethnicity as everyone else.

·  We wanted her to go to an international school but were not happy with the limited options. While it was great for her to speak Japanese, we wanted her to go to a school where one of her native languages was spoken (Spanish or English) so that we could focus on the other language at home. My family doesn't speak Spanish and my husband's family doesn't speak English. It is important for her to be able to communicate with the people who value her most. Right now she speaks English at school and we try to use Spanish at home and of course her English is much better than her Spanish so it is something we have to work at constantly. Doing that with Japanese out of the picture is much easier. We still use some Japanese words and she goes to Japanese playgroup but ultimately, it is not as important for us that she is fluent in Japanese.

· Our parents are getting older and we wanted to be closer to them.

Q: Are you aware of any support services other (foreign/black) moms can utilize?

A: I’m not sure about support services for black mothers in particular but I found the following to be helpful and I am sure there are some versions of them across Japan.

·  We had a local foreign mother’s group in my area and we got together once a month. We sometimes had medical professionals who came in and talked to us about how to take care of ourselves and care for the babies etc. Mostly we just shared our experiences.

·   I also belonged to another group where English-speaking kids met once a month and played together. 

·   Silver Jizai (シルバージンザイ). I found this to be most useful. This is a programme which supports the elderly who have retired but still want to work. They offer many different services, including housekeeping. A few friends told me about this service when I was pregnant and a month after Sami was born I called them and explained what I needed- someone to do housework and help me with Sami. I found this amazing old lady and she did housework and helped me to care for Sami up until the day we left Japan. She treated Sami like her grandchild. The best thing is, it was only ￥850 per hour.

Q: Thank you, Venecia. Is there anything else that you would like to share? 

A: Well, don’t forget to register your child with immigration shortly after they are born (If both parents are foreigners). I was late to register and had to write a letter of apology. 

In closing, I'd like to say that I am grateful to Japan but I do not really miss living in Japan. I spent 13 years there and it was time to leave. Now I love just walking down the street and being just another person. No one notices me and after 13 years of constant attention, that is absolutely wonderful. 

Here in Canada, I work part-time at Simon Fraser University teaching English to international students. I also make crafts and fun videos with Sami, a project I started when I wasn't working. I haven’t updated my YouTube channel of late but I have a Facebook page. It is called English with Sami and mama. Since I started working however,  I have been really busy and haven’t had time to add much to it. I’m still thinking about whether to continue or kill it.

........................................

Wishing Venecia, Sami and papa an exciting and rewarding time in Canada. Til next time, please remember to share. :)

Meet SimmyBoom: A Jamaican Dancer in Japan

I have been away for so long. Just one of those things, you know. You get busy or otherwise distracted and you don't quite get to working on those things that you'd like to. Anyway, I'm back with another awesome story from a Jamaican who is making her mark here in Japan. Ladies and gentlemen, say hi to SimmyBoom.

Hi, Simmy! Please tell us about yourself and what brought you to Japan.

My name is Simone Symister-Salmon and I'm from Kingston, Jamaica. I'm happily married to a Jamaican and we have been living in Japan for over 4 years. My hobbies include dancing, socializing and traveling.

I came to Japan because I wanted to experience a culture different from mine; so when I was offered the opportunity to live and work here as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT), I gladly accepted it and I'm tremendously happy that I did.

How long have you been dancing?

Well I have been dancing since I was 10 years old in High School; so, 18 years. But professionally, approximately 4 years.

You have been having dance workshops here in Japan. I'd love to know about them; like how you got started.

Fortunately I was asked to conduct a dance workshop for a Jamaican dancer who came to Japan. Although I was a dance teacher, I knew nothing about dance workshops. However, after doing some research, I was able to pull it off. After that, many other requests came for me to do workshops for international dancers but because of my busy work schedule I had to decline most of those requests.

A lot of friends encouraged me to open my own dance school, but I was hesitant due to the fact that my Japanese level is very basic; and as well as the fact that I think I still have a lot to learn as a dance teacher.

However, because I'm truly passionate about dance, I took my friends' advice as well as followed my heart and started my own dance workshops and collaborated with other dancers/dance teachers. Based on the turn out of those workshops and constant requests to continue organizing workshops, I would say the workshops were a success and I'm truly happy that persons benefited from them.

Simmy with her dance partner and a student getting down.

Simmy (in the yellow T-shirt) with her dance partner and some of her students.

I'm on a maternity leave from dancing now but will surely continue right after, by God's will.

Oh! Congratulations on your pregnancy! Any advice for someone who has a talent that they can share and capitalize on?

Thank you. The most important thing is to never give up on your dreams. Try your best to achieve your goals. One way this this can be done is by networking. You'll be surprised at how helpful some persons who you meet can be and the impact they can have on your career/talent. Associate yourself with professionals in the field you are trying to master and learn from them. You are never too talented or educated to learn.

Last but not least, be humble yet confident! If you're shy try to work on that because shyness/ nervousness can be a roadblock to your opportunity to shine!!

I can definitely relate to the shyness/nervousness part! It really is something I have to try to overcome. Any other thing you'd like to add, Simmy?

Don't be afraid to make mistakes because that's the only way you'll learn. There are many of you with potential so don't hesitate to maximize your potential by taking any opportunity you get to do so.

Love God and he will lead you in the right direction.

Big smiles from Simmy (in orange) with her students. Two of her co-teachers are also in the group.

Thanks, girl! And all the very best to you and your hubby as you bring new life into the world.

There you have it, guys! These stories are really inspiring to me; I hope they are inspiring you, too. Hope you can take something from what our Jamaican dancer has said, act on it, and realize your dream.

Be blessed :)

Meet Angie Taylor: An American Entrepreneur in Japan

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It almost doesn't feel real. Can you believe it? 2014 has passed and we are now in a new year.

How was 2014 for you? Whatever happened or didn't happen, we can be grateful that we are still here. Yes, we've lived to see another year!

To kick off the new year, we will hear the wonderful story of Angie Taylor, a successful black woman from America, who is making her mark here in Japan.

Funny how time flies when you are having fun! 

I first came to Japan in August of 1992. I had entertained dreams of coming here ever since I was in elementary school....maybe it had to do with the impact that Godzilla left on me at that early age. Or maybe it was the effect of one of my favorite childhood songs, the "Sukiyaki Song."  After studying for a semester at an American university in the mountains of Niigata, I was hooked. I returned to the States, applied for a job through the JET Program and never looked back. That officially started my 21-year "journey" with Japan.

I taught English for seven years, then decided to return to America in order to pursue graduate study. By chance, I happened to sing a few songs at the wedding of a friend's relative. The owner of the wedding company heard my stage and offered me a job on the spot. In the 13 years that I worked as a professional wedding singer and bridal planner, I participated in over 5,500 weddings. Yes....from meeting Chaka Khan (and cooking macaroni and cheese for her!!) to singing a few times on national tv...to having the honor of singing for the Japanese Emperor's daughter and Magic Johnson when he came to Niigata, I have been blessed with numerous opportunities to express myself through music. It doesn't stop with just "me," either. One of my former music students signed with SONY Japan and became a part of one of the hippest hip-hoppers in Japanese music.  It is very clear that the ripples we create while here are often amazing!

Oh, and speaking of cooking, I started my own country "kitchen"...an expression of my love of pies, pastries, cookies, cheesecakes and other sweets. Lol!

A truly elegant Strawberry Creme-White Chocolate cheesecake! Melt in your mouth goodness!

a chocolate chestnut pound cake

A fall favorite: a fig pie. A whole fig, plucked from the tree, sprinkled with cinnamon and a touch of sugar....wrapped in phyllo sheets! Then baked until golden brown!! So simple (the most difficult part is fighting the crows off the trees for the best figs!!)

So, how did it all start you ask? My friends asked me to open a bakery after I surprised them by making all of the desserts at a Christmas party.  It took three days for me to bake everything, but it was so worth it! I will never forget the happiness and excitement that my kitchen-skills brought!! Though I stopped baking professionally a few years ago so that I can focus my energy on creating a healthier version of myself, my friends still ask for goodies every now and again. I delight them, of course, but with a much healthier versions of those comfort food originals!

a pumpkin cheesecake, with layers separated

As mentioned, my latest focus has been on health. I have successfully dropped about 100 pounds over the past 4 years and I feel amazing. I am not quite where my body needs me to be, but we are well on our way. In an effort to help spread my love of a plant-based lifestyle, I have challenged local chefs to create a new kind of menu for a series of exclusive dinner parties. The rules are simple: no oil, no butter, no meat, no added sugar, no dairy....and no eggs. The dinners and brunches have all been major hits; I am truly moved by all the interest.  Honestly, there is something really wonderful about sharing the wealth of health with others.  Recently, in addition to coaching others who are interested in losing weight and getting healthy, I have been focusing my efforts on promoting healthier foods for children.  As a result of the interest in my restaurant challenges, cooking classes and seminars, I am currently working on a debut cookbook that focuses on kids and nutrition.

Six months ago, I moved to the Tohoku area to help motivate and guide the kids and communities that were affected by the 3/11 disasters. Yes, I left everything behind in Niigata because I felt that it was my duty to share some of my many blessings, happiness and expertise with those who are still going through extremely difficult times. Many of my friends thought I had lost my mind, leaving such stability back in the rear-view mirror. Actually, it was, by far, one of the best decisions I have made in a long time. Just knowing that I am living my idea of life with true meaning and empathy has filled my heart with a level of happiness I can barely describe. Where I first thought that I would be leaving my love of food and music behind, I find that those interests have followed me here. I have joined a local band AND connected with a local restaurant interested in changing its menu to promote healthier dishes.  Yes, new opportunities, including talk of a full scholarship for my doctorate degree in wellness tourism are in the works. My grandmother always said that those who give fully of themselves will be refilled with a cup that flows over.  My goodness! How does it get much better than this!?

Life in Japan has not always represented the smoothest of rides.  Many of my opportunities have come without warning....with the transitions being very unpredictable and often times chaotic. Even so, I trust that I am already where I need to be...for even the words "crisis" and "opportunity" share the same kanji.  The minute I let go, and "let God" (as my mother often said), things magically fell into place. The road carrying my success has been full of many, potholes, roadblocks, crazy turns and selfish "road hogs" on the verge of road rage. Still I accept it all very graciously, thanking Japan daily for the gift of this amazing, life-changing journey. Yep....taking my feet off the brakes, enjoying every second of the ride!!

Anyone interested in coming here would benefit from keeping an open mind as to what Japan might offer. Sure, we can listen to and appreciate the adventures of others. That being said, we might want to think twice about allowing their experiences to serve as a final indicator of what Japan "is" to us. To really experience it, one must witness it with his own eyes, heart and collection of attitudes, values and beliefs. I strongly believe that in the same way we each bring unique gifts to Japan, it gifts us with unique moments and stories in return!

 Stay healthy, happy and blessed. 

Thanks so much Angie! Your story has definitely inspired me. I hope it sparks something in my readers and that they too can know that their dreams are possible.