A Jamaican Mother's Perspective On Raising A Child In Japan

Today, in another of our Black Mommies Travel series, we will be talking with Venecia. Venecia Williams-Vall is mom to 3 year old Sami, who Venecia describes as very friendly, a trait she says, is from Sami's dad.

Venecia, welcome.

Thanks, Re-Keisha.

Q: Tell us, what brought you to Japan? 

A: I moved to Japan at the end of July, 2002 on the JET Programme. I left at the end of July 2005 to do my master’s in England and returned when I finished because I was in a relationship. I worked for one and a half years at one university then moved to another where I spent 8 years.

Q: Where is your husband from and did you guys meet in Japan?

A:  My husband is from Argentina. I met him my second year in Japan. He was a student and he did his master’s and PH.D. there.

Q: What was it like giving birth here?

A: Sami was my first child so I had no prior experience just expectations. My first doctor was good. He ran a small clinic and was very caring. I was briefly hospitalised because of fibroid pain. He recommended that I stop working and stay in the hospital until birth but I said no. He transferred me to a colleague who dealt with high risk pregnancies at a hospital near my home.

That doctor was great too. We ended up having an emergency C-section because he did some tests on the due date and found that Sami was stressed. The staff at the hospital was great and they listened to my wishes. I hated being in the hospital because my husband could only visit at certain times throughout the day. I was lonely so I asked to be discharged early and I was allowed to leave 2 days early. I do like the fact that they keep you in the hospital and check to make sure you and the baby are doing well before sending you home.

Q: What things did you appreciate here as a mother raising a child in Japan?

A: Great healthcare from pregnancy to birth and beyond. We did not have to pay out of pocket for anything before or after she was born. My healthcare plan covered 70% and the city office covered the other 30%. 

·  I was able to take time off work to care for her and still got a percentage of my salary. I spent 7 months at home with her and I was extremely lucky because my university had its own daycare so I could go see her during the day while I was at work.

·  I got a lot of information from the hospital and the city office about dealing with stress or post-partum depression (including information about hotlines). 

Q: Did you have any concerns for your daughter or face any challenges as a mother?

A: Yes, we did. Once we got pregnant we knew we could no longer stay in Japan. 

·  We wanted to live somewhere she would be comfortable as a bicultural child. We didn’t want her to grow up in a country where she was constantly in the spotlight, never having anonymity and constantly being reminded that she did not belong. Neither of her parents was Japanese so we did not think it was fair for her to take on a fight to be represented and accepted. We have been here in Canada for 6 months so far. She goes to school and she is mostly just another little kid playing with her friends. No one touches her hair. When she uses Spanish no one thinks it is strange or “kawaii”. No one thinks she is not Canadian. She is just a happy kid. I know she will have her own challenges but she will not be bullied for not being the same ethnicity as everyone else.

·  We wanted her to go to an international school but were not happy with the limited options. While it was great for her to speak Japanese, we wanted her to go to a school where one of her native languages was spoken (Spanish or English) so that we could focus on the other language at home. My family doesn't speak Spanish and my husband's family doesn't speak English. It is important for her to be able to communicate with the people who value her most. Right now she speaks English at school and we try to use Spanish at home and of course her English is much better than her Spanish so it is something we have to work at constantly. Doing that with Japanese out of the picture is much easier. We still use some Japanese words and she goes to Japanese playgroup but ultimately, it is not as important for us that she is fluent in Japanese.

· Our parents are getting older and we wanted to be closer to them.

Q: Are you aware of any support services other (foreign/black) moms can utilize?

A: I’m not sure about support services for black mothers in particular but I found the following to be helpful and I am sure there are some versions of them across Japan.

·  We had a local foreign mother’s group in my area and we got together once a month. We sometimes had medical professionals who came in and talked to us about how to take care of ourselves and care for the babies etc. Mostly we just shared our experiences.

·   I also belonged to another group where English-speaking kids met once a month and played together. 

·   Silver Jizai (シルバージンザイ). I found this to be most useful. This is a programme which supports the elderly who have retired but still want to work. They offer many different services, including housekeeping. A few friends told me about this service when I was pregnant and a month after Sami was born I called them and explained what I needed- someone to do housework and help me with Sami. I found this amazing old lady and she did housework and helped me to care for Sami up until the day we left Japan. She treated Sami like her grandchild. The best thing is, it was only ￥850 per hour.

Q: Thank you, Venecia. Is there anything else that you would like to share? 

A: Well, don’t forget to register your child with immigration shortly after they are born (If both parents are foreigners). I was late to register and had to write a letter of apology. 

In closing, I'd like to say that I am grateful to Japan but I do not really miss living in Japan. I spent 13 years there and it was time to leave. Now I love just walking down the street and being just another person. No one notices me and after 13 years of constant attention, that is absolutely wonderful. 

Here in Canada, I work part-time at Simon Fraser University teaching English to international students. I also make crafts and fun videos with Sami, a project I started when I wasn't working. I haven’t updated my YouTube channel of late but I have a Facebook page. It is called English with Sami and mama. Since I started working however,  I have been really busy and haven’t had time to add much to it. I’m still thinking about whether to continue or kill it.

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Wishing Venecia, Sami and papa an exciting and rewarding time in Canada. Til next time, please remember to share. :)