Perfect Love

All the years that the cankerworm has stolen is being returned to me (Joel 2: 25). I believe that I made a critical discovery about me. I can see how the enemy has used the very way that God made me against me. Thank You Lord for this discovery.

One of the things I read about the melancholic is that he tends to be passive. I must fight to not just allow negative thoughts and emotions to weary me down. I have a choice; I can choose the types of things to think about. I already have the power over all the power of the enemy. I already have a sound mind. I am already more than a conquerer. 

Now let me say that I am not saying that passivity is from God. That's one of the weak points of the melancholic personality. But let's say that I'm not necessarily the aggressive type. There's nothing wrong with that. But then sometimes things happen, like someone being unkind to me. But because I'm not the type to fight back, it would seem like the enemy orchestrates many of these moments where I end up feeling defeated. In other words, my 'soft' personality has often been used against me. It would have been helpful for me to have learned to stand up for myself and not just play the role of a victim. I say learn because I wasn't born with a 'tell-it-to-your-face', 'don't-you-dare-treat-me-like-that' personality. Hope you're getting what I'm saying. LOL

Anyhoo, these days I've been meditating on this: 

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection]. (1 John 4:18 AMP). 

I'm beginning to have a greater understanding of what this scripture means. I'm learning to apply it to me. It kinda fits in with what I'm discovering about me. A part of this 'soft' me is sometimes afraid to express herself. Sometimes the words won't come out, or don't come out right. It's a part of what I was trying to explain earlier. If I have been mistreated, I am afraid of telling you that you did. But even where no mistreatment took place, if I need to make a request, I don't know how to. Plain simply, I'm afraid to ask. I am now seeing that I even have this same fear if I need to talk to God about things or ask Him for things. "Fear brings with it the thought of punishment" were the words that sprang out at me the most. And this is because I wonder if God will be mad at me for saying this or doing that. 

I can see how I have been changing even prior to my rediscovery of this scripture and my gaining more understanding about it. I can see how I had been operating out of fear. I can only look forward to the best that's yet to come as I begin to operate in its principles. 

Unnu tek care!