Developing Realistic Expectations

What do your expectations looks like? I think I need to develop realistic expectations. I need to know how to strike the balance between hope and reality. I need hope to expect God's 'perfect' for me; while facing reality, and understanding and not becoming overly depressed if things don't work out how I thought they should. You know, leaning not to my own understanding (Proverbs 3: 5-6). I don't want to be negative but I want to be realistic. So if things don't work out as I thought or planned, I won't end up crashing to the floor in disappointment and despair.

Hubby and I had an unexpected trip outside of Japan the other day; and having realistic expectations is what I spoke to the Lord about while I got ready one morning before our trip. I had gotten angry, miserable and negative the night before when things didn't work out how I had been planning and laid out 'perfectly'. Sadly, that always happens to me. I therefore wanted my reflection after-the-fact to not be only a reflection after I've reacted badly, but it should be what I am thinking about at the onset of trouble. Like the Bible instructs us to resist the devil (James 4: 7), and this is done best at his onset.

I was very happy that I had had that talk with the Lord then because while on our trip, a very unexpected thing happened to us that could have derailed us (our spirits) significantly. I had to keep reminding myself (my hubby usually handles things much better than I do) about the note I had made in my diary. Each time I felt myself wanting to get upset, I could fight it off with that reminder.  I also believe that God put the following thought in my heart while we were struggling to deal with the situation at hand:

"Not because there is a fight, doesn't mean it won't work." 

I was definitely encouraged by that. The fighting part can surely put a damper on your hopes and what you're trying to do but the reality is that, that's how life goes! 

またね！(See you later!)

Loving is Easy When It Doesn't Cost a Thing

In my previous post I said how I want to be able to show love to others. I used the example of me watering some flowers at one of my schools and how they blossomed. I also want to water someone's life. 

Heh. People say that you're likely to be tested on something you've preached about. I surely was. And I failed miserably. :(

I was feeling quite downcast last week and it really peaked on Friday. I felt so angry and miserable. I was so down I didn't even write anything in my journal. But my reaction to how I was feeling was giving me another piece of something to share with you. 

When I am feeling down, I usually like to remind myself that I am not the only one going through something. But on Friday I was so caught up with how I was feeling that I didn't bother to show concern to someone who probably could have used some cheering up too. I was so absorbed in my own pain that I didn't bother to try to reach out to the individual. I only realized afterwards how I had the opportunity to give love but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't want to. 

When you're hurting it's easy to be thinking so much of yourself that you can't even see that there's someone right in your midst hurting as well. You might sense it, but can't seem to reach out or really don't care to. After all, you are hurting too. 

But you know, that's really how true love is shown - when you can do it no matter how hard it is for you. It's always easy when it doesn't cost you anything. 

Water Those Flowers

Since I figure that I'm on the road that I need to be on, and that I'm ok and on my way, and that I just need to keep moving, I really just want God to help me:

1. To take each day ONE DAY AT A TIME. 

2. To show love. 

I want to wake up, pray and know that although I might not feel well, the day will soon be over and God has given me new grace and mercies for the day. When I pray, I want to believe that power has been released and to be able to feel it. I want to understand that there is REAL power in the words of prayer. So when I say, "God please help me", I want it to be clear in my mind that God heard me and will help me. 

I want to be God's light everyday that I am out in those schools. I want to show love in the way that He has placed in my heart to that particular person who really needs it. I know they are there. I realize there are days I am tired and feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities I have but I still want to know that I made a difference to someone's life by my presence. It must be made clear to me that I had a positive impact on someone. I pray that God would make me see that I am making a difference and the way I made the difference. 

I've been watering some flowers at one of my schools since I started going there in April. I started watering them when one morning as I changed into my indoor shoes, I happened to see that they were drying up. I gave them some water and their appearance changed the next time I went to the school! The leaves were perky! I felt as though God told me that they were to become my responsibility. That is, I should water them whenever I went there. God often speaks to my heart through things like that. So although I couldn't see how watering flowers could be of any value to me, I obeyed. I have ensured that I water them while I'm there. In a way though, I'd often think that in the same way I'm watering them, I can also water someone's life. 

Yesterday the secretary called my attention to them. She was showing me how one of them was blooming. Later in the day she was also telling the man who does repairs/clean up at the school how the flowers I've been watering are blooming. He went and looked at them and told me, "Good job". 

They are just flowers. But because I'd been giving them water, they were now blooming. They went from drying up to blooming. And I had a hand in it.

My desire is to do the same in the life of someone.

How about you?

Knowing God's Pace for Your Life

Ever feel like you have no clue about what you want to do with your life or where your life is going? I sure do. Not all the time but most of the time. 

I decided to write down some things that I believe will come to pass in my life. They have been in my heart since forever. I wrote them down as reminders because I tend to forget that I have these dreams. I often say I don't know what my dreams are but they are there. Even though I often feel like they are far fetched, I have no idea how such things will come to pass or whether or not I just made them up in my mind, i.e. they are plain rubbish, I can still believe. I can still trust God's plans. I can still trust that God will lead me into my field like He led Ruth into hers (Ruth 2:3). 

I especially must be mindful not to envy others who seem to have arrived and have their lives all figured out. I must understand that God knows my level of maturity and perhaps I wouldn't keep up if I were given everything right away. 

I feel peaceful with the thought that I can trust God's pace for my life. Knowing His pace for my life will help me not to feel like I'm lagging behind or even think that I'm not going somewhere. Yay! What a marvelous revelation! I am ok and on my way!

So my prayer is that God would help me to sit and relax and not be like Martha - perplexed and anxious about many things (Luke 10:41). 

Before you go, please watch this video. It's really cool and funny! 

Did you laugh, too? No matter how many times I watch it, I always do! Why not try it at school or your workplace?

また、私のブログを見てくださいね。ありがとう！(Please visit my blog again. Thanks!)

Enjoying the Seasons in Your Life

Before I write about the meat of today's post, I want to rant a little.

My morning's devotional was about enjoying your spouse. I thought to myself that such thoughts do not always form a part of my regular thinking because of thoughts of work. The demands from work are too demanding! Get up in the morning, work on my mind. Go to work and get to work with work on my mind. At work doing the work with work on my mind. Reach home, have dinner, spend whatever time with hubby, go to bed with work on my mind. No sah! That's crazy and not funny. 

Why should life be this way? These are things I don't like. There's a typhoon. What do people do? Go out to work anyways. Dem sinting deh just nuh normal. Why not first of all for the sake of safety stay home? One day away from work to rest, take care of your body, enjoy your family and eat your food without a hurry is going to kill you? Not to mention there might be limitations on what you could do for the day at work in any case? Why this belief that "I must work cost it what it may"? Sigh, sigh and sigh. 

How about you, guys? If you could count the times you thought about what you could do to bless your spouse and enjoy their presence, do those moments surpass the many other things you have on your mind? These are the important things in life, the things of value but sadly they're more often than not at the bottom of our to-do lists. 

So, now that that's off my chest (LOL) let's talk about enjoying the seasons in your life. 

Hubby and I have been blessed with a really inexpensive place to live. I mean really and truly. When I share with others how much we pay they are usually surprised. I paid our rent to our landlady yesterday. As I walked away from her house, I thought about how we're really going to miss it if/when we should have to move. We've been able to save a lot, you know. I started teaching a student last year about this time, too. But now he'll be moving on. There were evenings I'd be coming home tired and would rather not have a class. But it's good that I made the most of it because now it's over. 

The house is comfortable except for the little things like feeling extra cold in the winter and the occasional creepy-crawlies that appear in the summer. (My Facebook family, y'all remember me bawling about an 'hebalasting' [everlasting] spider that was in the house and how I was hoping it wouldn't move until  hubby got home? LOL!!). 

God help me to give thanks for the time we have in it and enjoy the blessings that come from living there. 

Bless unnu!

On a Positive Note

Give thanks and praise to Jehovah. He's good, all the time. All the time, He's good.

Yesterday was the Prefectural Level English Speech Contest. Two of the three students who performed from my school were placed in the top 5. Reiko (name changed) was one of them. For the past two years she tried without success at the local level. In fact, she had her first try at such a competition when she was a grade 6 elementary school student. Finally, now in her third year of junior high school she got the 1st prize at the local level and now 2nd place at the Prefectural Level. I feel blessed to be a part of this moment.

Last night before I fell asleep, I thought about how I've always thought negatively about myself, and so the time has come for me to develop and cultivate good thoughts about myself. My new favorites:

• I am loved by others
• I love myself
• I am a woman of good understanding, a beautiful countenance.

The next thing is I feel so free. "Perfect love casteth out all fear" has really opened my eyes. I don't feel so afraid of moving forward with things or when thinking about what to do in the future. I am not so afraid of making mistakes or living up to expectations. I am not so afraid of not knowing what to do.

This morning at school, I was reading a few verses from Nehemiah 9. Some favorite verses and why I like them:

....... and thou preservest them all (v. 6)  

• This tells me that God preserves me

....... thou knewest that they dealt proudly against them (v. 10)        

• God knows when people ill treat me.

....... thou art a God slow to anger, ready to pardon, gracious and merciful (v. 17)

• This pretty much explains itself!

This next verse really grabbed my attention and spoke to me on a deep level:

...... thou subduest them and gave them in their hands, that they might do with them as they would (v. 24)

• This is telling me that victory is mine for the taking. I am free to make use of whatever opportunities are before me. In other words, the ball is in my court!

When You Pray & God Doesn't Answer

Hey, guys. How unnu do? Hope everyone is good.

Last Friday, I wrote this in my diary, "How to look past what is a minor or not-so-minor thing and be joyful? - Give thanks for what is." I was feeling disappointed because well, I didn't sleep well the night before despite going to bed early. Hubby had suggested earlier in the week that I go to sleep early and get some rest. I guess he could see that I was tired. So I was in bed by 7 pm. But I just didn't sleep well. Not getting a good night's rest really throws me off. I really hate when that happens. So I wrote that to encourage myself.

Well, over the weekend, I really had to put it into practice (again). In this post, I mentioned that I have just completed University studies. There was still one course for which the grade was not posted, however. On Saturday morning I got the grade I was awaiting. Unfortunately it was not the grade I was anticipating.

I was disappointed and glad. Disappointed that what I hoped and prayed and believed for was not realized. But glad that I passed my course and therefore successfully completed my degree. The disappointment however, and even a bit of anger and frustration, fought to overtake and subdue the gladness. Instead of celebrating what was, I struggled a little with what was not. I did pass but not with the desired grade.

Out of habit (the 'old' me), my thoughts went like this: "What's the point of hoping for anything?" "This always happens to me." "Maybe I'm just not good enough." Thank God however, those thoughts did not overwhelm me. Thank God they eventually went away.

How did they stop? I forced myself to give God thanks for what was. (When you are feeling down, you generally don't feel much like giving thanks). I fought to look at the bright side of the situation. The greatest anesthesia however, was this reminder:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding. (Proverbs 3: 5).

Trusting God means that there will be unanswered questions, things you don't understand and things that seem unfair. There will be times when you don't get what you prayed so earnestly about. How many times has someone lost a loved one even though they prayed so hard for God not to take them? How many times have people lost their homes although they prayed so hard for God to not let the bank take it away? The instances of those and other things happening are countless. And if you ask me, these people have every right to feel angry, let down and disappointed and to ask God why.

In these instances when we pray and God doesn't answer, however, we have to remember that we cannot depend on our own logic. We can't depend on how our human minds explain things. Our understanding of the situation, of what we can see with our eyes will never really comfort us. It just won't make sense. I mean, why should I not get the grade that I worked so hard and prayed so hard for? It makes no sense and it's just not fair!

But God is saying, "Trust Me with all your heart. It doesn't make sense or seem fair. But please trust me." Difficult? Absolutely yes! Impossible? No. If we can trust Him in those times when He doesn't give us what we hoped for, we'll be all the better for it and will be comforted.

In other news, I bought the reader. It was delivered on Saturday. Another something that helped me take my mind off the situation above (LOL). I bought the Kindle Paperwhite 3G (2012 model). It fell right within the price range I had. It's on sale! I hope to get some bilingual (Japanese/English) books to help me with my Japanese study. Here are some pics:

Unopened box

 Opened box

 The goods

 The case

 The Kindle!

Ooh...

                                                               USB charger

 Kindle package

 Kindle on!

Me!