Lord Help Me Believe!

Caleb's faith was so amazing. He was full of faith when he and the other men went to spy out the promised land. He returned with a positive report. "Let us go up at once and possess it", he said. "For we are well able to overcome it" (Numbers 13: 30). Because he believed God, he was allowed to enter the promised land.

Image from minsmash.com

Now in Joshua 14, he went to Joshua to ask for the land that was promised him. He spoke so confidently as well, saying how he is as strong now as he was then (at the time he had gone to spy out the land). He's now 85 and he was 40 years old then.

But what is more is the fact that his faith was unchanged. Even though the land he was claiming wasn't free from troubles, he said he still believed that he could conquer it because the Lord was with him. "Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the Lord spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced. If so be the Lord will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the Lord said" (Joshua 14: 12).

When the Lord says it, it shall be so. But it can only be so if you're willing to believe it.

Lord help me believe!

Sadly, I haven't been believing for much; and I realized this recently. There's a level of vulnerability that comes with believing. What if I believe and I don't get what I want? What if I have to wait for long?

I've asked God to help me not let fear keep me from believing. And I encouraged myself by saying, "Don't bury your dreams because you're too scared to believe them, that they'll come to pass. Bring them back to the forefront of your mind".

Do you have some dreams that you've buried? If you've buried your dreams, it's time to dig 'em up!

Acceptance

I must accept and love myself as I am. I must accept my life the way it is. I must stop fighting and trying to figure out things or even to change stuff, and just accept things.

I am miserable and not living in peace and that is not right. And it happens with me trying to figure out and change things. Me trying to figure out why I feel so sick in the mornings. Me trying to figure out what to do. Me trying to figure out whether I should stay or go.

There are things that are out of our control, and that can be frustrating. But what if I can just go with the flow and work on what I can? Sometimes I feel so sick when I stand before the class. I still have to smile and pretend like everything is OK. But what if I don't pretend? What if I can just accept that I am not well and be true to what I'm feeling?

Perhaps it is due to the fact that in this job you're always expected to show a happy face. You're always expected to smile. And then you can't even really say what you feel. Your language ability can only cover the basics. How would I say, "you know I'm not feeling well, I feel dizzy, I feel weak."

I only felt encouraged one day after finishing my classes despite how I was feeling, when I thought to myself that, "you know, I've always had a problem with anxiety. I get sweaty hands if I'm doing some sort of business transaction or sometimes even during a class. So maybe this is just me. Thankfully, I've still been able to get things done. I still do well."

You know how the Bible says, His strength is made perfect in our weakness? Well, the more I think about what I've been able to accomplish and how far I've come despite some stuff, is the more I'm able to appreciate God's presence and power in my life. I just see how He's been helping me and encouraging me and blessing me. He's held my hand through it all. Thank You, Daddy.

So, yep this is me. I am a shy girl who is usually hidden behind the scenes, who usually prefers to be by herself. I don't usually make friends that easily nor do I have a large number of followers. I get anxious when I go out to work. But it's OK. I'm the beloved daughter of Jesus Christ.

I know that there are people everywhere who have to put on a brave, happy face even when they are secretly hurting and feeling pain. God sees you. You might not be able to change your situation. It might help to accept what is, acknowledge and be thankful of how far you've come despite the difficulties, and hope for better days. I do hope to not have anxious mornings, and sometimes I don't! But in the meantime, I want to stop beating up on myself and just embrace whatever comes while giving thanks.

Acceptance makes me less afraid of trying something new. I know that I can still move forward even if my anxious feelings are still there.

My God Sees Ahead

The Lord always makes a way available beforehand. 

In Luke 22, the Passover was to be held. The disciples were wondering where they would have it. Jesus told them that when they went into the city they'd see a certain man. They were to ask the man about a room for the Passover. Jesus said the man would show them a large, furnished room. When they went, it was as Jesus had said. 

God knows that we will have various needs and He has already made the way available. When it's the appointed time, you'll be led right to it. It's either already prepared or it's being prepared. 

Imagine if the disciples had asked Him and He had said, "I have no idea. What shall we do?" Or, "We'll have to look into that". He didn't even say, "Ah, let me think". No. He just had an immediate answer. 

And so the song says, "What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer." He knows the thing that we need, and exactly where we need to go to find it.