To Buy or Not to Buy?

I'm thinking about buying a tablet. Well, it was a reader. Ahm, I think. LOL

My iPhone does everything really. I was just thinking to buy a tablet/reader just because. I don't spend money much. But that's great. I am a good saver. And I spend mostly on what's necessary. So no complaining.

But then there's that, "I wanna buy something" mood that I get in. But I don't want to buy it and it doesn't work out. The iPad is kinda out of the picture because I don't want to spend more than ¥10,000 (about US$100) and I don't want a monthly bill which I'd have to pay if I went SoftBank's route. SoftBank is my mobile phone provider.

Even if I got one, most things would be done at home anyways. That's because I wouldn't have internet access unless I'm home. That's unless I have apps that can be used offline.

I'm thinking about using it for:
Blogging
Reading (books, magazines, etc)
Studying Japanese

I have my eyes on the Kindle Fire.

I was thinking the other day it's best to enjoy all I can now while I'm not yet a parent cuz when pickney come in place, it's gonna be all about them! LOL!

Wah unnu think? どうしおうかな~....

The Joy of the Prize

This moment in time feels like one of those challenging moments. You know, those times in your life when things feel overwhelming. I remember last year around this time I had an especially challenging season as well. One scripture that I read during that period which helped me was Hebrews 12, particularly verses 1-13. It really hit the nail on the head. A few things I've been reading lately have also spoken about endurance. 

To be honest, sometimes I really don't want to read such things, especially in the midst of a difficult period. I don't want to hear that I have to endure anything. I don't want to have to deal with anything. I just want them to go away. Unfortunately, most things cannot be avoided, unless of course you plan to quit. 

I was thinking one morning how I really could just quit. I thought about my husband and how he sometimes has even more of a reason to quit. He is truly a warrior though. In the short time that he has been working at his workplace, many have come and gone. I too have seen the same. 

The joy of the prize however, is good motivation. Thinking about how I could choose to quit but have chosen to bear it, gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment. The power of God is made manifest in my life as I continue to fight the good fight. And then there are moments where I get to experience the joy of the prize such as when I meet students I have taught. 

It puts a smile on my face when I see students I've taught all grown up. Whether it is an elementary school kid now turned high school student or a junior high school student now turned college university student. I feel a sense of pride. And yes, I feel even prouder when they remember me and greet me. There is a boy who I taught in junior high school in the first year that I came to Japan. He's always glad when we happen to meet. We sometimes meet on the bus. I saw him the other morning. He wasn't in his school uniform. He had graduated from high school. I asked him his age. He's now 19 years old. He probably was 13 or 14 when I first taught him. 

I feel good because it's a symbol of how far I've come and how I have endured. It gives me reason to say thank You Lord for having kept me. 

I'll close with the Japanese version of the song, "Hold Me Close". Enjoy! 

Cross. Angry. Miserable.

Well, yesterday was payday! Thank God for work. This past week, I had reason to rejoice when three students at my school who participated in an English Speech Contest received individual first prizes, and the school also received the overall first prize. I wasn't able to attend the competition. When I arrived at work yesterday, the Vice Principal showed me the trophy and told me thank you. I appreciated that.


In other good news, I felt like I was about to catch a cold. But when I wanted to worry about it, I felt like God said to me, "Have a little faith." So I did what I could which was to have two raw pegs of garlic which I cut finely and had with my dinner. The next morning, the stuffy feeling in my nose was gone. Yay! God cares about every little area of our lives. My husband and I ate raw garlic with our dinner everyday during the last winter period and neither of us got sick. That was my first sick-free winter since I've lived in Japan. Garlic rocks!


         

Now on to why I was feeling cross, angry and miserable. Far too often I feel as if I'm up one day and down the next. Fear. Doubt. Anxiety. They are the primary culprits. So I said, "NO SAH. Dis nuh right." I felt annoyed at the way I was feeling. You know, I don't like feeling down. Who does, right? So I had to get cross, angry and miserable with the constant negative thoughts and emotions. I thought about how I was feeling and I said:-

1. Life is life. You will have highs and lows. No big deal.

2. Fear is just simply: False Evidence Appearing Real. Plain LIE. 












3. Why not for once believe the best about myself?

4. Not by might. Nor by power. But by God's Spirit.














I was also reminded that:-

"Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and physical and mental strength and ability over all the power that the enemy possesses; and nothing shall in any way harm you." Luke 10:19.

Well, what can I say, I made it through the rest of the day quite well. :)

Why do you want that?

Over this past weekend, I found myself thinking of doing more with my life. Sometimes, many times actually, I would ponder if I'm doing enough. In some way, as a result of such thoughts, I have accepted more responsibilities such as teaching extra classes. I can remember how terrified I was when I was asked for the first time to teach someone's daughter. I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do and afraid of my free time being taken away. Oh, I thank God for growth!

A comment someone made caused me to have those thoughts again; wondering if I'm doing enough. I often look at other people and think they're doing so well. Sadly, the same thoughts seldom come to me about myself! I have realized this, however, and have tried to fix it. But sometimes as soon as you try to break away from something and grow into something new, setbacks will come chasing after you. The comment made was meant to encourage me, but because I am learning to reprogramme a negative mind where thoughts about myself is concerned, thoughts of how I'm not good enough began to enter my mind. 

As I fought back by thinking and saying positive and uplifting things about myself, the Holy Spirit also spoke this to my heart, "Doing more things is not going to make you happy if you're looking to find fulfillment in them." 

It is good to do things and to challenge yourself. I would have missed out on extra financial blessings if I didn't accept extra work. But if I can't find inner peace and joy that comes from knowing that I AM GOOD ENOUGH, them I'm still going to be miserable. My worth shouldn't be tied up in things. 

Whatever it is that I'm going to do, I need to ask myself why I'm doing it. Doing things can enhance my skills and and so on. But if I never do those things, I must still be able to love me just as I am. 

Why is this happening to me?

When the jailer, startled out of his sleep, saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was on the point of killing himself, because he supposed that the prisoners had escaped. (Acts 16:27 AMP)

I remember what my Pastor here said about a missionary being sick; they all prayed and prayed but nothing changed. She had to be hospitalized. While they visited her, there was a man who was also admitted to the hospital who saw them and asked them to come and visit him, too. When the woman was released, they still visited the man. He later became saved. A family member of the man was also saved. Another man who was staying in the same room told them, "Don't just pray for him. Pray for me, too." He and another family member also got saved. 

God used a negative situation - sickness - for His glory. He did the same in the case of Paul and Silas. The keeper of the prison got saved; he and his family. 

There are some situations that I really don't like. One of them is when I have 6 classes at elementary school. It can get pretty exhausting. (I intend to from now on however, speak those things that be not as though they were. Therefore, instead of talking about how exhausting it is, I'm going to start saying, "Nothing is too much for me. I run and never get weary. I walk and do not faint."). But I wonder what God would like to do through these uncomfortable situations. 

Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises. They got a breakthrough - literally! And it set the scene for God to work. It's good to remember these scriptures in tough times. Instead of whining and feeling sorry for myself, I need to praise and pray.

Out of Place

The Sports Day for my school will be held this Saturday, September 14. Now Sports Day in Japanese schools is no likkle joke! No sah! The enthusiasm and motivation of the students never cease to amaze me. Today, as it has been for the past few days since the start of the second term, was a busy day for the teachers and students. They had no resting time. It was just from one thing to the other. In my case, yes I watch them while they practice, but I can take a break if I want to. Not so for them.

Sports Day in Japan is quite different from Sports Day in Jamaica. For one thing, I can't recall so much work going into Sports Day preparations back home. Also, selected students are responsible for taking the lead in getting their teams prepared and not the teachers. The teachers act as a guide and well, official overseers. The other big thing is that unlike here where each and every student participates in the cheerleading and Sports Day activities, in Jamaica students usually volunteer to take part in what they want to. As for me, I'd simply find my place in the stands and cheer for my team, or sit and chat with friends.

As exciting as these events can be, and as interesting as it is to be here in Japan, there are moments when I sometimes feel simply out of place. It's that feeling like I don't belong. I mean, yes, I am the foreigner, so I really am not a part of the 'group'. But the feeling sometimes overwhelms me more than it should.

This is what I wrote in my diary that I want to share with you:

"The devil likes to bring these thoughts of how I don't belong. I thought this morning about Jesus. He didn't even belong to this world. How 'out of place' was that! But He pressed on and always spoke about doing the will of His Father. He knew that he had a purpose. He knew rejection, embracement, reviling, encouragement and all sorts of things. He KNEW. So He understands me. He just did the work that was before Him, doing good to 'hebribady' - whether good or bad. Lord please continue to help me to accept what is and simply do what is required of me WITH JOY. Furthermore, there are FAR more PLEASANT and AMAZING things that I have experienced here; and with the hope that I have, am yet to lay hold of."

Sometimes you might find yourself in situations or places that overwhelm you. Like me, you might feel out of place. "All things work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28) is great to remember. Also, try not to focus on the negative of the situation. Think on some of the great things that are going on and that might even have been made possible by the very situation or place you are in. Difficult marriage? You might be able to look at the beautiful kids you have that are as a result of the union.

I've been learning the importance of confessions, and have been trying to actually do them. My confession for the negative feeling was, "I am not out of place. I am where I need to be."

Godliness and Contentment

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." (1 Timothy 6: 6). 

I think that most, if not all people, live their lives with this statement in mind, or subconsciously. The thing is however, that for many, 'godliness' and 'contentment' are defined in different ways. Satan, who is the father of all lies, has tricked many into having false beliefs as to what really is godliness and contentment. With this false sense of the meaning of the words, many have been led astray. 

The world for example, accepts godliness as loving people, acceptance for everyone, doing good and such things. Of course, these are signs of godliness. The only problem is that God has been extracted from the word which stems from His character. As a result, we mistakenly ascribe inappropriate meanings to what it means to love and accept, for example. Or in another sense, we fail to ascribe meaning from God's perspective. God is love for example, but He's also a God of justice. God accepts everyone but He abhors sin. 

If we think about contentment, we are bombarded with images of wealth and riches, a big house, fancy cars, dream career and the like. People are often not content with simply having food and clothes. Now I learnt that contentment doesn't mean that you never desire to have more, but you simply learn to enjoy what is before you now.

I wish with all my heart, or rather I'll strive with God's help towards embracing what God has in mind where contentment is concerned. I just believe that life would be so much simpler if we had God's idea of contentment in our hearts.